Me, the fashionista.

My aunt and uncle treated me to a Ramadhan buffet tonight and before picking me up, I was given a simple caveat;

"Wear something nice."

Discarding the suspiciously stained shirt and crotch-torn jeans that I somehow suspect my aunt knew I was going to wear (I think she's psychic), I grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeggings that someone else had picked for me during an earlier mandatory shopping spree.

Because that's the universal definition of nice to anyone who knows me;

"Not something chosen by Aziemah."

I seriously wish I was just being sarcastic.

I managed to wear something decent but by the time I got home, I had several foodstains on it. Not because I'm a messy eater, but because food sometimes fly out of my plate whimsically to spatter on any decent shirt I decide to wear.

Oh food, you silly inanimate object you.

But my point is, if we go out for dinner, why should we dress up? All you're doing is adding suspicious stains to your decently styled (and priced) attire. If we're going out for movies, why bother dolling up? I doubt people go to dark cinemas to appreciate your expensive shirt they can't see. Maybe when night vision is the next improvement in our evolutionary progress, it makes sense but then you're also competing with the most beautiful women in Hollywood as people focus on the big screen in front of them.

If we go shopping, why should you wear that stylish new top? Everyone goes shopping to buy clothes off the rack, not your body. Besides, I believe those who go shopping use it as a reason to parade their non-existent fashion sense, so they're too preoccupied with how much attention they're able to get, hardly having enough time to spare attention to you.

The only suitable time to dress up is when...

...

...

I'm... stumped.

Do you know when?